Writing: Getting Back On Your Feet

A writing colleague asked me: "How do you pick yourself back up after a setback? How do you keep on keeping on?"

At first, you don't. You fall, sometimes flat on your face, sometimes you break a figurative bone. The fall can be from a short height or from a seemingly high mountain, depending on what you have at stake. It hurts. Usually our pride smarts the most and longest.

I don't think there is one definite way to get back on your feet. Your character, personality, and circumstances all play big roles in the fight to endure.

For myself, I've been broadsided, sometimes knowing beforehand that I might be (which is akin to watching a tragedy unfold before your eyes while you're helpless to prevent it). After a really big blow to my ego in regards to my writing, I withdrew for a long time. I didn't feel like I had a leg to stand on, and that every word aimed against me and my story had to be true. I had no self-confidence left. Emotions were so bad and so high that it affected me physically. The last thing I wanted to do was continue writing, or even communicate with anyone in the writing community. I felt like a fraud, a leper, that everyone was laughing at me behind my back.

In other words, I had to take time off. Partly because of how self-destructive I was feeling, but mostly because I couldn't see or think clearly about the situation. A few months later I started to see. I wasn't a terrible writer or a hack, but I did have areas I needed to work on and improve. I realized that some people weren't going to like my story no matter how I rewrote it or packaged it, and that's okay. I certainly don't like some things I read. We're subjective creatures.

There came a critical point where I had to ask myself if I wanted to sacrifice the integrity of my story in order to please one or two people, or even a collected body of people who shared the same mindset. Bearing in mind, that yes, I wanted to please an audience, I wanted to sell my story, I wanted to make it as reader friendly as I could and that I could change some aspects to meet those goals. But I had to really think about who my target audience was and what their expectations were. Who was I writing for?

I had a life outside of writing to fall back on. I couldn't just lock up and stay hidden from the world. I have a family and a community of people relying on me. They made it possible for me to get up in the morning each day, to even smile. Focusing on the other parts of what makes me, me rekindled my drive to write.

I think it's easy to lose yourself when you dive fully into the writing community. We're affected by personalities and hit with a constant barrage of opinions. While writers collectively are viewed as great individualists, we really tend to act as sheep like most people do. We want public approval, sometimes so badly we're willing to write what we think the collective wants us to write and how they expect us to write it. We try to fit into some mysterious, mythical mold and grope around in the dark to find the magic elixir or key to unlock the doorway to opportunity. Admit it, we've all taken a turn doing it. Don't belligerently deny it.

My solution to overcoming a writing setback? Get to know yourself again. Get away from the writing community. Read what you really love to read. Fantasize to the length and breadth of your imagination regarding your story because no one is going to be standing at your shoulder judging you. Write with abandon again; turn off the internal editor that was primed and set by your desire to appease and supplicate. What makes you, you? How does that reflect in the way you write and express yourself? Look at your story. Do you love every aspect of it? Does it excite you to read any passage over and over again, or are there places you skim over or get bored with? Fix them.

Is your life well-rounded? If it just revolves around your writing, you won't have anything else to fall back on when the writing life gets tough. Writer friends are great and fine for support, but people who are actually around you are even better. People you can see and touch and laugh with, who will hug you and love you whether or not your story is going to make waves in the literary world. People who know there is more to you than being a writer.

And sometimes, even though we never want to admit it, sometimes our story isn't reader-worthy. It's a story just for ourselves that only we can truly visualize and love. If we're beating our heads relentlessly against a brick wall of rejection from everyone (and I mean everyone), no matter how many times we've revised, maybe it's time to set that story aside. I have a few stories like that. Oh, I never bothered trying to get them published because I already knew they were special only to me. I still pull them out and get a thrill when I read them. Their purpose is realized right there. And that's okay.

So, you look at your other stories and ideas and visualize your target audience. Is it a broad audience or a small one? Set your expectations based on that. If your goal is to break into the publishing side of the writing world, then pick your brightest, best idea and work on it.

Sometimes stepping back from the novel you care so much about can help you see if there are really problems in it or not. Kind of like cleansing your palette between courses during a meal so that the taste of one dish doesn't intermingle with the taste of the next. Maybe you've been locked into one story world for too long and need a vacation. Working on a story that is totally different can be refreshing to your creative side.

Another good way to help bounce back is to write in a journal regularly. There you are free to express your grief, angst, and worries uncensored. Don't do it online. Most people don't care and don't want to hear about your problems. Vent your spleen privately. I've found that journal writing helps me get refocused and lets out all the negative energy so that I can think more clearly and objectively.

Sometimes the problem is we have a very clear goal and know exactly how we want to achieve it. So when we don't reach our desired milestones or can't continue on the road we've picked, we get frustrated and angry. We blame the road, other people, the universe at large. The thing is, who says there is only one road to reach your destination? Who says you have to meet every milestone on a generalized checklist to get there? There are other roads. Getting up from a major setback could be as simple as picking a new route, or even a new destination.

In a nutshell:
1) Be humbled so you can think clearly.
2) Get to know yourself again.
3) Vent in private not in public.
4) Have a well-rounded life so that other aspects can keep you afloat.
5) Take a vacation from the writing community. As long as you need. Don't feel pressured to make appearances or submit your work if you're not ready to.
6) Get realistic about your novel, your target audience, and your goals. Make changes based on your clearer perspective.

Above everything else, remember you are an individual and you are worthwhile. You have talents you're trying to develop and that's wonderful. Having goals and dreams helps make life meaningful, but don't let them crush or blockade you from living. And remember that popularity and acceptance are both fleeting and illusions. You are neither. Don't give up on yourself.

The Courage To Be You

What do you think you're doing? You've got to be kidding, right? You—write stories? What makes you think anyone will want to read what you write? You're over your head here. This MS is written all wrong. Someone else already covered this story/angle. You're wasting your time. You should do something else instead...

Do any of these sound familiar? I like to think of them as The Great THEY sayings. THEY like to tear people down. THEY like to make us question every little decision we make. THEY don't want us to be ourselves or succeed. THEY want to control us.

THEY don't exist.

Individuals parrot The Great THEY all the time but there really is no secret institution controlling society. Knowing that makes life a little rosier. Convincing yourself that THEY aren't going to murder you in your bed some night for taking a risk, well, that's another thing.

Putting yourself out there is scary for most people, even if you are only presenting a collection of written words to the public.

Sure there are actual institutions and rules set up to follow. It's not a myth that publishers and agents have guidelines to follow when submitting a manuscript to them. It's not a myth that very few people actually make millions on selling what they write. A savvy writer must navigate through rules and guidelines, and work hard to grow and improve their writing.

In all places where people gather there is a natural tendency to size each other up, judge our strengths and weaknesses, and decisions made regarding other peoples' value to the group as a whole or to other individuals. Sometimes it's easiest to expect the same thing from everyone and sometimes some individuals carry this too far. We hate the rule breakers, those who have leaped to the top of the pile, those who seem to have it all, those who blatantly tell the rest of us to jump off a cliff. We also secretly envy and admire them. We want to be someone who is comfortable in their own skin and who can snap their fingers at the censure and ire of others.

So how does one gain the courage to take those risks?

As a writer, how can you make your story stand out from the rest of the pack? The pack is humongous! There are thousands of other hopefuls out there who also have the same dream. The savvy writer also knows that the dream slots to fill are much fewer.

The first step is arming yourself with knowledge regarding writing craft and the industry of publishing. It's not as straight-forward and simple as it sounds. Many would like to skip this step. "I'm a storyteller. All I need to do is write my story and the rest will fall into place." Um, right.

The second step is not becoming a zealot with what you learn. I can always tell who has just embraced some doctrine of writing craft. These individuals (and I had my little zealous bout too a long time ago) will rigorously step forward online or among other writers to champion the death of all things that run against the rule they've embraced. They're brutal in their critiques. They hammer their pet piece of writing doctrine down the throats of the willing and unwilling alike. You can picture them sweating, beet-red in the face, maybe with their tongues peeking out of the sides of their mouths, and their eyes bloodshot in their never-ending quest to prove the point.

Don't be a zealot.

The third step is to pause. You're still digesting what you've learned and you realize there is more to be learned. Like any learning process, there never is a point of arrival. Learning never ends. Coming to terms with that realization and accepting it gives a writer a necessary dose of humility and gratitude. This step is treated as optional by some. It shouldn't be. Appreciating what has gone on before, what is going on around you now, and speculating on the possibilities of the future will keep a writer from becoming an arrogant jerk.

Step four, reach out to others. Take the time to network and make friends with other writers. Be a giver more often than a taker. And above all else, accept others for who they are. Recognize their individual voices and visions. Don't condemn, don't judge.

Step five, embrace yourself. It's okay. You can like yourself. You can love what you write and you can also hate it. You'll be able to see your weak points and your strong ones. These need to be identified. Come to terms with what is important to you, what you want to say and how you want to say it. Remember that everyone has a voice and a distinct point of view. Remember also, that you will not convert everyone to your way of thinking, and there will be many others who will disagree with you. There is no way to avoid this.

Courage isn't a quality one is given, it must be acquired. Bravo to those who gain the courage to step up, present yourself to the world, and say "This is me." Laurels to those who can continue to stand there while others size you up, ignore you completely, or try to drive you away. If you are humble, accepting of others and yourself, and knowledgeable there is no valid reason for you to run away. At this point THEY are not as all-powerful as you think, the one with the power to make or break you is yourself.

It's not easy standing there but it is important to stay put. Some people are instantly embraced and adored, some are charismatic, others are mysterious, and some will shout and shout so no one can ignore them. Some face exclusion, ridicule, or are taken for granted. Some people are used for awhile or scoffed at from behind. Remember your vision is unique and that you have your own stories to tell. No one else can tell your stories the way you can. No one else should replace your words with their own. And yes, sometimes you must admit that a story or two will never have a wide audience—and that's alright.

Relax and breathe. Do everything you can, keep learning, keep trying, and never give up. No one ever arrives, this is one continuous journey.

Bonus: From the blog Writer Unboxed, contributor Jan O'Hara shares some inspiration on conquering writing fear, and fellow contributor Jon Vorhaus gives some perspective regarding letting the worries of the future stymie today.

Don't Buy That Method!

Oh, there are so many great sources for writing instruction out there! Authors, editors, publishers, universities, writing forums, books, YouTube clips ... For a beginning writer or even someone who is checking out the professional side of things, the plethora of resources can be daunting and confusing. Should you get a MFA? Which conventions and conferences should you attend? Which workshops should you take? One group of people swears by this method, others swear by another. Bloggers try to help by sharing their favorite methods and it adds to the confusion.

First off, take a big breath and relax.

Secondly, congratulations for recognizing that any good writer needs to work on their craft. Anyone who assumes otherwise is in for a long, hard ride.

But here's the bit of truth you seldom run into when trying to find the one-true method: There isn't one ultimate method to writing or your writing journey.

I'm sorry if that's a disappointment for some, that there isn't a fast-track to writing bliss and success. On the other hand, if you're like me, knowing that fact is a huge relief. It's easy to think you're doing everything wrong because your writing journey isn't the same as someone else. Online, everything seems so competitive. We are exposed to more success stories than we would in our real lives. Those that make it big become instant rock stars (never mind if it took them years to get there, we only see the here and now) and the rest of us are poor, deluded drudges. It gets depressing if you let it. Sometimes we're tempted to pay someone to teach us the mystic secrets of writing and publishing, and granted, some resources are worth the price. However, most of what you need to know, the basics, you can find out for free if you take the time to do some research.

Ask any writer and they'll share the resources they found helpful. It's a place to start. The next step is trying out different methods and see what works best for you. Chances are you will spend several years developing your method. That's good, and healthy.

But wait, there's more.

While it's not good to only buy into the method someone's trying to cram down your throat, did you know it's equally detrimental to only create one method for yourself? Once we get into a pattern that works for us, it's tempting to stay there, and it's possible to churn out many adequate or good books that way. So why bother rocking the boat once we get in?

Our brains are amazing, and there's this wonderful technique called interleaving that helps stimulate creativity, memory, and creating connections between facets that normally wouldn't come together. In other words, you can write better than your one-true method will allow you to.

When we're in those early experimental stages, we're actually at our creative best. We haven't locked onto one method; we're trying lots of methods. We're interleaving. Let's look at some examples:

1. You've been stuck on a particular chapter, having difficulty creating the right dialogue and exposition between two characters. You know what's going on, what needs to be discussed, even know how your characters feel about it, but things aren't working out right. Say your one-true method is to pound out the scene then go back and edit it like crazy until it shines. Not bad, and yes, you'll probably think of snappier dialogue with each pass. But, what if you tried a different method, a POV reversal. You've had the scene written out in character A's POV, now rewrite it from character B's POV. Wow, you think afterwards, I thought I knew both characters sides, but look what else came out. Switch the POVs back adding in the new angles, or maybe you'll decide that character B was the right way to go all along.

2. You're an outliner. It keeps you on track and you can check things off your outline as you do them; it gives you a sense of accomplishment and productivity. You wake up in the middle of the night with your story on your brain. An unplanned setting, an event not on the outline, and interaction between two characters you never intended to meet up suddenly makes several plotlines make more sense. Grab a sheet of paper or a notebook and write like a pantser. Don't outline the scene, write it. Don't worry about your outline, after all, outlines aren't carved in stone and you can always change the whole thing tomorrow when you add this new scene into the story. The point is, you're brain has made new connections unfettered by a strict outline which can change the success of your story.

3. You've always written chronologically; it helps you keep your facts straight; but now your stuck and having a hard time moving forward. In the back of your mind is the next key scene, the problem is you have to get your characters to that point before you can write it. Rip out that mental stop sign and go ahead and write the next key scene. By writing it, you may come up with the pathway those characters have to take in order to feel, do, and say the things that this scene demands.

4. You write your stories in first person, present tense. That's what's been popular for the past few years and you've become accustomed to it, even love it. But it's not working for your current WIP. First person's leaving out too many important details and events that would enrich the novel for your readers. The situation, at times, when written in present tense makes you sound like you're hyping up the slow parts of your novel to a ridiculous level. Try writing in close third, or even the frowned upon 3rd omniscient. Does it make the story flow better? You may find you even like it. Or, it will help you weed out what isn't working well in your pet style.

5. You've got a big, complex story with lots of character POVs. Making each of those POVs different is a Herculean task. You've been editing and editing to try to make a difference but your beta readers are struggling to know whose POV they're in. Time to pull the novel apart and work on one storyline at a time, rather than as a cohesive whole. This way you get into one character's head and stay there for the duration of their story, allowing you the time needed to develop that character's particular syntax, perspective, and style, making their voice strong.

Get the picture? Don't be afraid to stop your usual writing routine to try out something new, something different. Our brains like this kind of stimulation. We have to look at our writing from new angles in order to keep it fresh. Study the methods of others, lots of others, decide which ones work best for you, but don't stop interleaving methods. Never put yourself in a rut because it is safe.

From my own experience, I never realized I was a natural interleaver until I learned about it. I seldom get writer's block because of it, and I'm bombarded by new ideas and new connections all the time. No two novels are written the same way. If anyone were to ask me for my method I'd have to smile; I have no method. I use many and I like to discover new ones to try out. Perhaps after reading this post you've discovered you're a natural interleaver too. If so, keep it up, and don't let anyone else tell you to box yourself in. Embrace the creative freedom.

Question for you:
What are some of the methods or resources you've found helpful when writing? Please share them so everyone can learn something new.

Accentuate the Positive: What If ... ?

When you've been writing for a long time and hung around the vast writing world, it's easy to see a lot of negative things bantered about. Consequently, it's easier to start thinking negatively about others and even worse, about yourself as a writer. So much emphasis is placed on nailing a query letter, your opening pages, your synopsis, your social presence, etc. that it becomes a quagmire of shadowy rules, rejection, deception, and negativity.

Think about your realm of influence for a moment. Are you often a beta reader or an established critique partner? Do you edit or help with PR? I'd even be so bold as to add, are you a literary agent or publisher?

How happy are you? How happy are the people around you? Is daily snark regarding other people the norm? Do you pick up someone's manuscript prepared to be a skeptic?

What if this next week you could only mention the positive things about someone's work?

What if instead of tearing someone down, you show them that they aren't hopeless or crazy but that they do have some things going for them. It may be a lot, it may be a little, but think how much of a boost you could give if that other person knew what they did right for a change.

What if you set a goal not to speak disparagingly of anyone else? What if you decided not to listen to or share gossip?

Focusing on the negative is a piece of cake. While we do need to know what we have to work on to become better writers it doesn't always have to come in a negative or derogatory package. It takes strength of character to be a positive person, someone who is genuinely concerned about helping someone else.

It's as simple as dealing with a child. If you always focus on what that child is doing wrong or where the child is lacking, you destroy their motivation and self-esteem. If you focus on what the child is doing right and point out their strengths, it motivates them to do even better.

Sure publishing is a business but people aren't. Sure you run into delusionals who have an ego the size of Brazil, but most people aren't that way. There is a hopeful person on the other end of that manuscript, someone who is trying to do better and whose basic desire is to share something they created.

Don't assume that they are getting positive vibes from other sources. You may be their only outside influence that day, week, or month regarding their work.

I find it very disturbing that as a society we're obsessed with perfection without having a concrete definition or outline for that perfection. If stripped down to our very core, we are all imperfect people, and you know what, it's okay. As long as we're trying to be a better person each day, isn't it time we chill out and admit that we're never going to reach perfection? Why would we expect everyone else to?

There is enough room for everyone to express themselves. There are so many subjectively diversified tastes out there, don't assume that your subjective tastes are what must be the rule. You may be tired of a premise, but that doesn't mean others are. You may think writing X + U is a bad idea, but that doesn't mean someone else won't think it's a brilliant pairing. Your style won't be the same as someone else's, and that's okay. Their voice will differ from yours as well. It's okay.

Now, I'm not saying you have to love, accept, or buy every story, query, or synopsis that you get. I'm not saying to you have to write a detailed letter of explanation for every rejection you give. But can we ditch the snark in social media for a week? Can we ditch it in our conversations? Can't we write a blogpost saying why we love writers or what they consistently do right? Instead of the "reasons why I'm rejecting this" feeds can we focus on "reasons I love this" feeds instead? If you're critiquing someone else's work, is it so difficult to highlight all the many more places they are getting it right instead of the fewer places they are getting it wrong?

Perhaps I'm the crazy one. I'm guilty of succumbing to the writing world negativity at times too. It's something I intend to change. If any of this has agreed with you, will you join me in a positivity week starting today?

The Dangers of Blinding Ourselves

I was able to participate in a great object lesson this past weekend, something which I think also applies to the writing and publishing process.

Step 1:
Get two pieces of paper.

Step 2:
On the first paper write down all the positive, good things going on with your writing life.

Step 3:
Write down one recent instance when someone or something made you mad, hurt, frustrated, or depressed.

Now, here's the trick. Put the paper of positivity on your lap. Hold up the negative paper to your nose. Can you see the positive paper anymore?

It's human nature. One bad thing pushes away all of the positives going on in our lives. We nurse it, focus on it, and make it grow. And if not checked it can consume us.

Whether it's a negative review, lack of interest from agents or publishers, a mean critique from a beta reader, apathy from your writing group, or even that little internal voice that whispers horrible things about ourselves and our abilities - these are all like that second piece of paper. We hold it above everything else and become blinded.

So how do we get rid of it? It's not easy most of the time. The first part is recognizing there is a negative slip of paper duct taped to our faces. We need to replace it with the positive list. And in some cases, where it involves someone else, we need to let the offense slide past and forgive. Even if they never apologize or go on to hand out more offenses. If we don't, we're letting that negative person or experience control how happy we are.

How have you handled the metaphorical negative slip of paper and gotten rid of it? Are you still struggling with one? Or share some of the positive things from your first sheet of paper. Some of mine are:

People who love my writing and are clamoring for more.
I have great writing friends who beta read for me.
Looking at my writing five years ago compared to today, I see major growth.

Battle Bitterness and Despair with a Little Gratitude!

A downer day. A period of dejection. Insecurity. Loneliness. Times where everyone seems to be either walking over you or aiming at you with a steamroller. Everyone has these.

My best solution for getting out of these kinds of pits: forget about yourself. When things are at its blackest, search for someone else who is struggling and help them out. Unable to find an immediate service project? Make a list of things you're grateful for.

Since I'm surfacing from a very black period, myself, I thought I'd share some of my thankful list. Also noting how grateful I am that I did find some people to focus on rather than sit and stew over myself for the past week.

1- I am grateful for my mother. Not for the usual things only. I'm grateful she is a writer. I never received those "You must be crazy" or "Writing's just a hobby, right, dear?" looks from her. She understood. She persevered. She knows the sting of rejection. She knows how much a full-rewrite or line edit can take out of you. I can talk writing shop to her without having to stop and explain terminology or how the industry works. I've learned from some of her mistakes and she's learned from some of mine.

2- I'm grateful for the eccentric, oddball family I grew up in. We were geeks. We had lots of inside jokes and could carry on conversations in complete movie quotes. We mashed things up, spent entire evenings sitting around talking, and gave each other hugs each night before bed.

3- I'm grateful for my husband. He believes in me, pushes me, tries to conquer my insecurity dragons with the wave of a cape. When I become so stressed that I can't sleep, health issues flare up, and I have to pace, he lets me vent. He makes me laugh and can disarm my anger swiftly. I don't know what I'd do without him.

4- I'm grateful for my children. I love their imaginations, their questions, and their ideas. We have great conversations. I learn a lot from them. They accept the fact that mom does this writing thing nearly every day and take stabs at it themselves. We read together every day. The weekly trip to the library is always anticipated with excitement and when they've finished reading a book they like to give me a full synopsis along with their feelings about it.

5- I'm grateful that I have a life outside of writing. Without it, I would have been lost the past week. I have other creative outlets, books to read for fun, experiments in the kitchen to make, people to visit in person to talk to, places I like to go, and a newly fixed piano to express my feelings upon.

So there are my top five. How about you?

Over-Editing and Self-Esteem

There’s editing and then there is over-editing. All writing needs a pass or two after the initial flurry of composition to edit. Sometimes we’re testing out new skills or techniques that might need more than four or five drafts to get it right. Sometimes we’re asked to edit our work for the benefit of editors and publishers.

And then there are those of us who can’t stop editing.

I think part of it comes from low self-esteem as a writer. It’s easy to rationalize that “Hey, I’m a perfectionist.” Wanting to put forth our best work is what everyone should aim for but compulsive perfectionists, let’s face it, we have self-esteem issues with our writing.

It’s easy to second guess ourselves. Especially when you get feedback from others. We automatically assume that every suggestion made from other people is correct and that we were never right to begin with. After all, look at all of these other, confident, popular writers out there. They write so fast, so well, and people love everything they churn out. And oh yes, there are lots of writers who put out sludge and think they’re all that in spite of their lack of talent and effort. The compulsive perfectionist even regards these people’s suggestions.

All those articles, blogs, and workshops on writing are great to read and attend. We soak up the information as much as everyone else. Inwardly, they torture us. They point out all the many ways we fall short. So we edit, and edit, and edit.

What’s in danger here is not only our self-esteem, but our creativity and talent. We work so hard to try to please everyone that we end up disappointing ourselves the most. We never reach our goals.

What is worse, is most compulsive perfectionists are aware of their problem. All the kind and cheerful words in the world from others don’t remedy the issue. In fact, we tend to doubt the validity of those who actually compliment our writing. We cry buckets when we get negative reviews but those reviewers are so right! What were we thinking? People who say nice things didn’t give us a thorough critique. They probably hate the story too.

I think the trick to taming this over-editing beast is learning and remembering a few things:

1. Don’t take it all so personally. Oh certainly, we’re probably not the type that has a super fragile skin and can’t take any kind of critique. (Remember, we think only the negative ones help us grow and point out all the flaws we have yet to fix so we antagonize ourselves by searching those kind of readers out.) Taking a step back and remembering that no one reaches perfection in their writing helps. Guidelines, style, and popularity evolves over time. Readers don’t all like the same things. Really and truly. It’s not that our stories are so horrible sometimes but rather we haven’t found our audience yet. Finding the right beta readers is probably more of our problem here. We need people who read our genre and who appreciate it.

2. An art professor once told my sister that when you feel your project is done, stop. Don’t add another brush stroke. She said she crossed that line once and added the extra brush stroke. It ruined the painting she was working on.

The same applies to writing. We tweak and cut, and add, and change so much that it’s easy to loose our original vision of our work. So maybe there are a handful of sentences, paragraphs, or even pages that could have used eighty more hours of fine-toothed combing. Maybe we didn’t zap every use of the word “was” or “had” from the manuscript. You know what, readers don’t care. (This references the every day, non-writerly, editorial, or agent-type reader, and especially not anti-passivity zealots.)

There’s an evil in second-guessing ourselves so much. Storylines and plots perish, characters become over-the-top or lackluster, and sometimes we get bored with the very ideas that once excited us.

3. When we get too compulsive it’s probably a good idea to shelve the story for a little while. Take a break. Work on something else, or better yet, throw ourselves into an entirely different type of work or activity. Coming back after a hiatus sometimes lets us see clearly again and even learn to love our stories once more.

We do have talent. Maybe we’re still in beginner stages but the compulsive perfectionist is one that is doing their best to learn and work on their craft. Every writer is different and has a different voice. We need to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else, the good and the bad. And we also need to trust our inner voices even more than all the encouragement or tough love from our beta readers. We’ll get good, worthwhile advice and we’ll also get advice that steers us away from who we are and what our story is supposed to be. We need to grasp onto our self-identity and our story’s identity and then hold tight. The weather will be rough and turbulent.

4. Trends, comparisons, the wrong readers, too much advice—they’re all things that drive us to over-editing. Sometimes it’s best to shut off the internet, avoid the writing group for awhile, and get to know our own skills and the depth of our stories intimately one-on-one. Especially if we’ve fallen into over-editing. Recognizing that we will also make mistakes, fail, and even make a fool of ourselves is part of the process. It gives us perfectionists permission to chill out a bit. These are things that keep us awake at night but they don’t have to.

Get your story done to the best of your current ability and then let it go. It will fly or sink, but you won’t have killed it via an axe-wielding internal editor.

What things drive you to over-editing and how do you combat them?

Your Story, Your Spin

Voice: “Voice is the author's style, the quality that makes his or her writing unique, and which conveys the author's attitude, personality, and character; or, Voice is the characteristic speech and thought patterns of a first-person narrator; a persona.” –About.com

Style: “Style…is basically the way you write, as opposed to what you write about... It results from things like word choice, tone, and syntax. It's the voice readers "hear" when they read your work…To an editor, on the other hand, style refers to the mechanics of writing, i.e., grammar and punctuation…” –About.com

Treatment: Never heard of this one? Author Dave Farland puts it best: “The treatment is the way that you choose to tell your story. It’s your personal spin as an author, the unique way that you choose to tell a story. It includes many of the elements that you’ll learn about in writing classes in college—such things as the use of character voices, choices in metaphors, character voices, the tone of the story, and so on. It even includes all of the elements of your personal style, your personal word choices, your phrasing, the lilt of your own voice—things that you don’t even think about and perhaps cannot change.”

Voice, style, and treatment are all rolled together. It’s the essence of you as a storyteller. Finding your voice is an exciting journey. Your treatment of the story sets that story apart from all others because it’s the essence of you as a storyteller.

There are guidelines and rules of grammar, punctuation, even story structure. When someone breaks those rules we tend to attack in a bloodthirsty pack. Yes, sometimes we’re critiquing a newbie who doesn’t even know the rules yet. But--I wonder how often we make this assumption of someone we don't know well yet. Perhaps that person isn’t as green as we think. Perhaps what we are assuming and harping on is in fact that person’s treatment of the story. (The bloodhounds freeze mid-air.)

A post on critiquing and beta reading will be forthcoming this month, I promise.

Some writers have achieved notoriety and even their brand name based on their rule-breaking story treatments. But breaking a rule just to break it or to make a sensation isn’t what we’re supposed to strive for. In these aforementioned instances, we’re looking at a writer’s style. Don’t be a copycat for the sake of sensationalism. Don’t rule-break for the sake of trying to make a big splash. You betray your natural voice by doing so.

How do you find and recognize your own voice or style? Writers agonize over the question. They look for the magic incantation to give them instant voice. Your voice will be like you, individual, unique, and something not naturally duplicated. We can emulate other’s voices for practice. I’ve heard of writers who take the time to copy out of books in order to get a handle on that author’s voice and style as an exercise. Sometimes we find we echo the voice of a book we’ve just read or that influenced us a lot.

Your voice is your take on the world, your vision, your way of saying things. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, especially when you analyze feedback from readers. Critiques are good for writers. They show you where flaws and common problems lie in your manuscript. They show the unclear parts, the boring parts, the questions that rise, as well as the frustrations on the part of the reader. Sometimes there is a tendency to try to replace your words with words the reader would have chosen first, to alter dialogue or description to the style of the reader. And yes, sometimes punctuation and grammar become a stylistic issue.

I don’t profess to be an expert. I’m not going to nitpick over all the instances that could arise. I will say that you need to stay true to your voice. Stick with your words, your style (unless the word you picked is completely wrong. I once had a glaring typo using “taunt” for “taut” that needed fresh eyes to point it out to me.) Remember that reading is a highly subjective process. Some readers will embrace and love your style; others won’t find it to their liking.

And don’t confuse your treatment of the story for glaring errors such as plot holes, info dumps, and clichéd characterizations. There are some writers who take great offense to any feedback and sum it up to the reader’s failure to recognize their voice, when the issues pointed out had nothing to do with voice.

Keep guard on the voice in your head. What sounds good in the silence of the mind may not translate well through the vocal chords. Use your brain and your tongue to smooth out your words, to articulate the story treatment the way you want and need it to be.

Voice and style go through a maturing process over time. They alter and change with each new story you write, much like your increasing skills in the art of writing craft. Avoid the pitfalls of comparison. Voices shouldn’t be compared. Someone from Tallahassee will have a different treatment than someone from Boston, Shanghai, or Glasgow. Age, gender, culture, life experience, personal philosophy, and even religion will alter one voice from another. Some styles appeal to larger masses of people than others. Trying to make yourself into one of these when your not can kill a writing career.

What about agents and editors? What about booksellers, librarians, and other gatekeepers?  If one is to get published, one needs to produce the treatments They want. Subjectivity, the arm of Fate extended toward writers, is either one’s friend or enemy. Going through careful research when submitting work for publication helps. Recognizing that some treatments will not gain admittance should not deter a writer from writing. Not if you write because you must; if your love of storytelling overrides fame, money, and all the glories of being published. Yes, we’ve probably missed out on some fabulous voices. We’ve all scratched our heads and wondered at other voices that rocket to the top of the lists—voices we don’t care for.

At the end of the day it may be you alone with your manuscript, kicking back and enjoying a tale told in your style. If you’ve stayed true, the words will delight you, the story will carry you away from reality, and a deep sense of satisfaction will cover you like a quilt. There’s nothing wrong with that.

If the Subjective-Powers-That-Be love your voice, you’ll be on your way to publication and possible mass-acceptance.

The important thing is to cultivate and stay true to your voice and style. Enjoy the path to discovery, don’t fear the growth, and don’t try to be someone you’re not.

Bonus Fun:
Here's something zany and unique. The kids are telling the story while the adults act it out. Hilarious--enjoy!